Refleksi 2017 dan Resolusi 2018

"selamat hari natal bagi yang merayakan, walaupun telat.

selamat tahun baru 2018, walaupun masih lama.

apa saja yang terjadi selama 2017, dan apa saja yang diharapkan di tahun 2018?"

Reality

taken from own phone, some time ago

一昨日　は　難しい　でしたね。

two days ago was a hard day.

Alasan untuk Bersyukur (2)

coba diingat-ingat kembali, siapa nama teman sebangku waktu kelas 3 SD dulu. nama lengkap lho, bukan nama panggilan. masih ingat?

atau coba diingat-ingat kembali, 2 tahun yang lalu, tepat di hari ini, 27 september, kita ngapain? ingat gak? kemungkinan besar gak akan ingat kalau bukan peristiwa yang penting-penting amat.
gak usah lama-lama deh, sebulan yang lalu tepat di tanggal segini juga, masih ingat gak makan malam pake apa?

Alasan untuk Bersyukur

kita -homo sapiens, adalah satu-satunya spesies yang memakan dan menikmati makanan pahit. biji kokoa yang jelas-jelas pahit, kita bikin cokelat batangan dan kita mau-mau saja membelinya dengan harga yang lumayan mahal. demikian halnya dengan kopi, sudah jelas pahit tapi kita minum juga, ditambah lagi kita asosiasikan dengan senja dan larik-larik puisi (sebagian orang sih, bukan kita semua). tak lupa pare yang juga berasa pahit yang hakiki, dibuat siomay dan banyak pula yang menyukainya. dan masih banyak lagi, olahan-olahan dari makanan dan minuman yang memiliki citarasa pahit yang kita nikmati.

How It's Like

you get up tired. powerless. 
"i have to go to school." you say.
you hope to get back to bed and do nothing today. no willing to do anything. no activity. just lay on bed. but then you remember your mom. you go to take bath.
you take so long to bathe. there's one thing you always keep in mind. one big thing inside your head. you want to get rid of it. you really want to kick off those feelings.
"why me?" you say to yourself, quietly.
you don't eat breakfast before school. no appetite.
on the way to school, you remember that thing again. the big thing inside your head. traffic jam makes it worse. five motorbikes behind you, honking hard at you, makes it even worse.
"what the hell is wrong? god why do you leave me alone?" you say to yourself, again, but in a quieter sound.
at school, you don't really want to study. you just want to lay all day. that big thing once kicks again, now even harder.
"if only i could go back in time," you say, "i wouldn't have to suffer all this."
you can't stop regretting that day. you keep remembering the day. the details. the torturing feelings always kick in once you remember it. it's the stupidest day in your history, your biggest regret.
class ends. it is about to rain. you go home, on your bike, without raincoat. will the rainfall erase these regrets? unfortunately no, it won't.
you keep posting funny things online, altering your real feelings. you make your own mask, and wear it everyday.
on the night, you think about that again. you spend hours of thinking, before your eyes forcefully close themselves. night sleeps have been really big problem recently.
in the morning, you wake up again. powerless.
then the cycle goes on...

more or less, that's how it's like.
it may not be that bad if i write it, but it actually kills you slowly.

karawang, 23 september 2017

err... of course it's fictional

ha ha ha

So Many Stories Untold

it's getting rarer and rarer for me to write to write. only one post per month during the last three months. what the hell is wrong? i don't know. the truth is, i really want to write some stories. want to share something over this platform so that one day i can learn and laugh at myself for how silly my past  was.

just not now. first, not so many will read it anyway, or probably it will be just me. second, i think it's not the right time to share it online. there are things you'd rather save for yourself. third, back to first reason.

i hope you all have a good day.

karawang, 23 september 2017

using the office's wifi connection

100wordstory: Love Just Sufficiently

Once a wise man said, "Love someone just sufficiently.” At first, I didn’t understand what he said.

Until one day I met this girl. She was just ordinary at first, just like the others. In fact, many other girls were better. She was just moderately good looking, moderately tall, and moderately fat. But unlike others, she was extremely caring. It made me fall even deeper into her. I’d made her my everything, my whole universe, purpose of life.

Then other day she suddenly left me. Saying "feeling can change" as if nothing happened.

I finally understood what the man said.

Karawang, 14 August 2017

everything written is fictional

Jempol Pamungkas

tahun 1950an ketika orang-orang dianggap antisosial karena ngedep koran masing-masing

hello fellas,
memasuki hari ke sepuluh puasa tahun ini, tak terasa ya sudah sepertiga jalan. ada beberapa isu yang berkembang belakangan mengenai tulisan (status fesbuk) seorang siswi dari banyuwangi bernama (facebook) afi nihaya. tulisan berjudul "WARISAN" tersebut lumayan membuat heboh seluruh negeri. ada yang kagum kepadanya, mengundangnya ke acara-acara tv, menjadikannya pembicara di universitas ternama, bahkan ke istana. tetapi di sisi lain, ada pula yang mengecamnya habis-habisan, dengan ancaman fisik hingga pembunuhan. sungguh ngeri sekali ya, pena (atau dalam hal ini keyboard) memang ternyata bisa lebih tajam daripada pedang. setajamnya pedang, jika dihunus paling satu atau dua orang yang kena, sedangkan pena bisa melukai ribuan bahkan jutaan orang.

Kajian Isra Miraj tentang Imam Shalat

waktu perayaan isra' mi'raj kemarin, (takmir) masjid ar-rahmah mengundang seorang dai dari bantul. sesuai dengang tema isra' mi'raj, pasti pembahasannya gak jauh-jauh amat dari perintah shalat. saya lupa nama ustadnya, tetapi pembawaannya jenaka. meskipun kajian diadakan larut malam, tidak terlihat banyak jamaah yang mengantuk.

ada satu inti yang begitu berkesan dari penyampaian beliau, yaitu mengenai imam shalat dan pengaruhnya terhadap kemakmuran masjid. masjid yang makmur dalam konteks ini adalah yang jamaahnya ramai terus. as we know today, banyak masjid besar-besar, megah-megah, menghabiskan miliaran rupiah dalam pembangunannya, tetapi ketika shalat fardhu yang hadir cuma 3 atau paling poll 5 orang.

π

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π

Pak Anas

"ada lagi pak?"

"pulsanya pak sekalian?"

 "ada uang yang pasnya aja pak?"

"uangnya Rp xxx ya pak. terima kasih, selamat belanja kembali." 

itu adalah beberapa frasa yang sering saya dengar ketika berbelanja di minimarket. saya pun berpikir, "apa memang saya setua itu ya?" padahal kalo dilihat-lihat, para pramuniaga di minimarket yang bersangkutan bisa jadi lebih tua usianya daripada saya yang mereka panggil pak.

Hey, I am Still Alive

ho ho ho,

so here we are. it's been so long since my last post, I can't even remember when it was but actually I can always check it. actually I have some unposted drafts which will likely to stay draft. they were right about it. writing is practicing. if you want to produce some quality writings, you probably won't get it in the first draft, all you need to do is practice, practice, and practice. okay, where were we? 

Hujan

kita semua menyukai hujan ketika kecil. kita bermain hujan-hujanan seharian sampai kulit mengkerut, kedinginan sampai bibir membiru, dan akhirnya dimarahi ibu dan diseret pulang. haha, terdengar  menyenangkan sekali sekali, bukan? kecuali bagian dimarahinya.

Fear

what's your biggest fear?
some say darkness, some say ghosts, some say thunderstorms,
or just simply haven't done mathematics assignment.
and so on.